WOOHOO!
*whistling loudly*
Spain won the UEFA Championship! YEAY!
TORRES SCORED! HE'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR!
WITH THOSE CUTE BANGS ALWAYS GETTING IN THE WAY.
hahaha.
*punching fist in the air*
*punching fist in the air again*
*sliding across the living room floor still punching fist in the air*
IN YOUR FACE BALLACK!
:D
BYE.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
random.
I posted this on my myspace blog. Where I dont think it's available for people to see. I dont mind though,but I guess posting it here wont hurt.
As the road laid in front starts to fade,
With little fragments trailing ahead,
Like breadcrumbs left for a lost soul to find,
To lead it where it ends or begin.
I fear of the end,
Not much difference for the beginning,
Im torn between two roads,
Diverging into nothing.
Where i stand confused and focused,contemplating,
To which kind of path will i be taking?
There it is. :D
Bye!
As the road laid in front starts to fade,
With little fragments trailing ahead,
Like breadcrumbs left for a lost soul to find,
To lead it where it ends or begin.
I fear of the end,
Not much difference for the beginning,
Im torn between two roads,
Diverging into nothing.
Where i stand confused and focused,contemplating,
To which kind of path will i be taking?
There it is. :D
Bye!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wonder Girl.
I'm wondering about something..
*thinking*
I'd rather be humble than be so confident/ego. Food for my conscience. I guess I've been saying im too nice for my own good,but really,who wants an egoistic 'bitch' who thinks that the world revolves around 'her'? It's a waste of space. Admitting you're wrong is not the end of the world,it gets you thinking and look at things in a new light. Look at things in different angles. It's sure as hell not that hard. Maybe it'll bruise your ego,but at least it's not your face.
*thinking*
I'd rather be humble than be so confident/ego. Food for my conscience. I guess I've been saying im too nice for my own good,but really,who wants an egoistic 'bitch' who thinks that the world revolves around 'her'? It's a waste of space. Admitting you're wrong is not the end of the world,it gets you thinking and look at things in a new light. Look at things in different angles. It's sure as hell not that hard. Maybe it'll bruise your ego,but at least it's not your face.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
i need wings.
Just to say : I had fun last weekend. Not too much fun that I'd crawl back home like what Salleh and Ed had planned. Nevertheless,it was fun. And now! In a few days,I'll be going back to Johor. Hooray,for me.. Not.
I know what it means. Days in the house without car,money and fun. Maybe I could go to a gig on the weekends.. *contemplating* I doubt my ears wont melt with all the nagging. I'll take this opportunity to enroll in language classes and watch TV till i puke. *sigh* at least I could say "Language class is educational,it'll help me in the future!" Then they wont nag that much,since it's like im not wasting time. Although,I have no idea how learning Japanese would help me in the future. It's not like im going to be an Ambassador or something. Hmm.. I can make excuses to watch anime then. "It's practice! Im not even putting on the subtitle!"
I better get going. Have to go fetch Papa. Im regretting not bringing my iPOD along. This is going to be a long day. A very long day.
I hope im wrong.
I know what it means. Days in the house without car,money and fun. Maybe I could go to a gig on the weekends.. *contemplating* I doubt my ears wont melt with all the nagging. I'll take this opportunity to enroll in language classes and watch TV till i puke. *sigh* at least I could say "Language class is educational,it'll help me in the future!" Then they wont nag that much,since it's like im not wasting time. Although,I have no idea how learning Japanese would help me in the future. It's not like im going to be an Ambassador or something. Hmm.. I can make excuses to watch anime then. "It's practice! Im not even putting on the subtitle!"
I better get going. Have to go fetch Papa. Im regretting not bringing my iPOD along. This is going to be a long day. A very long day.
I hope im wrong.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
problematic.
The problem : Im confused. Im in love and im confused. Im confused with who I am as a person. Im confused with what I want to do with my life. Im confused with what I CAN do with my life that'll make me happy.
Thoughts : Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe. Or maybe im not even trying. It's sad. Trying to live up to expectations. It's pathetic to think that once I get used to it,i'll be fine. Im not fine. And im stretching too much that I feel so exhausted. Why does it have to be so hard?
Im never sure of what im saying. Even if it's something that I'm familiar with. There are paths that are laid in front of you,you'd pick the one that looks safe? Or the one that looks risky? If im put in that situation,i'd pick the safe path. I guess im just plain boring. Simply plain boring.
Im hoping to pop the safety bubble that I created long ago,that surrounds me. Yeah. I'll do it. Eventually.
Im constantly tired. I think it's the weather. Or the lack of fluid in my body. Or the fact that im gaining weight. -.-
Where do you put all the regrets that you've been feeling when it just feels like it's too much? I have no idea. It's like this heavy load on my back. People change,when they want to. Have I changed? Not much. *Sigh*
I feel like sleeping. Bye bye.
Thoughts : Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe. Or maybe im not even trying. It's sad. Trying to live up to expectations. It's pathetic to think that once I get used to it,i'll be fine. Im not fine. And im stretching too much that I feel so exhausted. Why does it have to be so hard?
Im never sure of what im saying. Even if it's something that I'm familiar with. There are paths that are laid in front of you,you'd pick the one that looks safe? Or the one that looks risky? If im put in that situation,i'd pick the safe path. I guess im just plain boring. Simply plain boring.
Im hoping to pop the safety bubble that I created long ago,that surrounds me. Yeah. I'll do it. Eventually.
Im constantly tired. I think it's the weather. Or the lack of fluid in my body. Or the fact that im gaining weight. -.-
Where do you put all the regrets that you've been feeling when it just feels like it's too much? I have no idea. It's like this heavy load on my back. People change,when they want to. Have I changed? Not much. *Sigh*
I feel like sleeping. Bye bye.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
ROTLOL.
I almost snorted Orange yoghurt when I read this. It's so random but I cant help myself. I just feel the need to write it here. So I can read it later when I feel like it.
This is taken from a book. Not a book I'd really recommend,but it's light reading and i'm in need of some light reading nowadays. Corny love stories are my main interest. Maybe im not loved enough. :P Oh well. Here goes!
-------
Our class was in a mad mood the next week at school. I think the heat wave has affected everyone's brain.
It started in science,when Mr. Dixon asked if anyone knew the formula for water.
Gabby Jones put her hand up. "HIJKLMNO," she said proudly.
"Er,can you tell me why?" He asked.
"Yesterday,sir," said Gabby, "you said H to O was the formula for water."
"H two O." He sighed and wrote it on the board. "H two,as in the number,O. Okay,last question about water. What can we do to save water in a water shortage?"
"Put less in the kettle,sir," said Lucy.
"Excellent. Anyone else?"
"Dont use the host," I said.
"Another good one. Any others to help our water supply to go further?"
Jade Wilcocks' hand shot up. "Dilute it,sir," she said.
Mr. Dixon shook his head but I could see he was trying not to laugh.
------
Then it was into the school hall for a film about the cosmos and all the planet and stars. Afterward,Miss Watkins asked us questions to see if we'd been paying attention.
"What is a comet?" Asked Miss Watkins.
I knew the answer to this and put my hand up.
"Star with a tail,miss,"
"Correct. And can anyone name one?"
Candice Carter, who was one of those I saw nodding off,stuck her hand up. "Mickey Mouse,miss," she said as everyone cracked up.
------
That's it. :) This reminds me. When I was in school. Whenever I dont want to be asked a difficul question,I always try to answer the first few questions that the teacher asked. :D Haha. The first few ones are always the easy ones,and if I answered them,then the teachers wont ask me a difficult one later on. OK,I kept on doing it even when i'm in college. But mostly,the 'quiet' side of me always gets the best of me. And I end up getting the difficult questions. Dont get me wrong,I can answer some of them. I just dont feel like I want to. ;) Im no genius. Im no whiz kid. But im not stupid either. You know what? I feel like im not as smart as I used to be. Im only 20 years old and im complaining about my rusty brain. Not good. Better get a grip.
Im trying to write a story too. Anip almost read one of my reject stories. Im not writing it like im going to publish it or something. It's just for me. I can always count on writing to polish up my grammars. Anyway,it's way too corny and so predictable-hopeless-romantic me. Maybe I could toss in some tragedies?? Like a car accident. Or a fatal disease or something. Just to make sure it's not so sunshiny where everything is oh-so-perfect. Good ending? Oh.who am I kidding? Most stories I wrote so far is where someone dies. I better polish my english some-more. :P
Confession : Im hoping for something. Im being hopeful. Not telling for what. :P Boo Hoo.
Later. Need sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
This is taken from a book. Not a book I'd really recommend,but it's light reading and i'm in need of some light reading nowadays. Corny love stories are my main interest. Maybe im not loved enough. :P Oh well. Here goes!
-------
Our class was in a mad mood the next week at school. I think the heat wave has affected everyone's brain.
It started in science,when Mr. Dixon asked if anyone knew the formula for water.
Gabby Jones put her hand up. "HIJKLMNO," she said proudly.
"Er,can you tell me why?" He asked.
"Yesterday,sir," said Gabby, "you said H to O was the formula for water."
"H two O." He sighed and wrote it on the board. "H two,as in the number,O. Okay,last question about water. What can we do to save water in a water shortage?"
"Put less in the kettle,sir," said Lucy.
"Excellent. Anyone else?"
"Dont use the host," I said.
"Another good one. Any others to help our water supply to go further?"
Jade Wilcocks' hand shot up. "Dilute it,sir," she said.
Mr. Dixon shook his head but I could see he was trying not to laugh.
------
Then it was into the school hall for a film about the cosmos and all the planet and stars. Afterward,Miss Watkins asked us questions to see if we'd been paying attention.
"What is a comet?" Asked Miss Watkins.
I knew the answer to this and put my hand up.
"Star with a tail,miss,"
"Correct. And can anyone name one?"
Candice Carter, who was one of those I saw nodding off,stuck her hand up. "Mickey Mouse,miss," she said as everyone cracked up.
------
That's it. :) This reminds me. When I was in school. Whenever I dont want to be asked a difficul question,I always try to answer the first few questions that the teacher asked. :D Haha. The first few ones are always the easy ones,and if I answered them,then the teachers wont ask me a difficult one later on. OK,I kept on doing it even when i'm in college. But mostly,the 'quiet' side of me always gets the best of me. And I end up getting the difficult questions. Dont get me wrong,I can answer some of them. I just dont feel like I want to. ;) Im no genius. Im no whiz kid. But im not stupid either. You know what? I feel like im not as smart as I used to be. Im only 20 years old and im complaining about my rusty brain. Not good. Better get a grip.
Im trying to write a story too. Anip almost read one of my reject stories. Im not writing it like im going to publish it or something. It's just for me. I can always count on writing to polish up my grammars. Anyway,it's way too corny and so predictable-hopeless-romantic me. Maybe I could toss in some tragedies?? Like a car accident. Or a fatal disease or something. Just to make sure it's not so sunshiny where everything is oh-so-perfect. Good ending? Oh.who am I kidding? Most stories I wrote so far is where someone dies. I better polish my english some-more. :P
Confession : Im hoping for something. Im being hopeful. Not telling for what. :P Boo Hoo.
Later. Need sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
He's The Reason For The Teardrops On My Guitar
For as long as I can remember. I've never been honest with myself. My feelings and everything that comes with it. I've never said 'Yes and No' like what my mind feels. I've never said 'I hate you' like I mean it. I've never said what I thought if it's too rude. Im either too nice or just plain stupid. I've been told that im being stupid and a fool for letting people get their way while I curse at them in my head.
I have no idea why I am who I am. I always feel mad,angry,frustrated,tense. And all I ever do is shut my mouth and say what people want to hear. "Im sorry","Im fine","Im ok","it's nothing". Then i'd feel like screaming. To just scream. SCREAM. Until my throat is hoarse. Until I lose my breath. Until I feel light. But I've never tried. I've tried to yell. A pitiful attempt to scream. To just let it go. To feel ok again. But it never works. And then I'll tell myself,just breathe in and breathe out. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. And those things that makes me mad,angry,frustrated and tense,they stay in me. It never goes away. It's driving me crazy. Even if someone tells me "I hope you have an accident and die." I'd answer,"Me too." Because despite my attempts to be strong and independent.. Im not. All I want to do is give up. To scream and cry until I cant anymore.
Confession : I dont know if I love him anymore. I used to put him on a pedestal. I admire him. For the things he believes in. For who he is. I never thought being me is something he doesnt approve of. Being different from what he believes in makes me the one who's always wrong. I thought he was the most wonderful thing. Rough around the edges but yet,beautiful as a person. Now.. I realize that Im never good enough. I was never on a pedestal in his eyes. He loves me. Yes. But love.. is not wonderful. It's just painful. Did I stay because he was my love at first sight? That it would have been over from that one too many fights if he wasnt? Do I love him or the idea of him? I can never forget the first time I saw him. Never.
I can never be true to myself. I've thought about people who's never honest with themselves and then change. They leave the things that makes them miserable and accepts themselves for being exactly who they are. And push away people who are dragging them down and just be happy. I always think "What if I try? What is I stop kidding myself and just be honest with myself. Do what I want and not what other people want. Just be happy. Being just me." I dont think it's that simple. I can never be honest with myself. I can never give in to the temptation to tell someone something rude or bad.
Conclusion : I am a confused fool who lets other people dictates my life and controls it. A miserable fool. Who's aching to be left the fuck alone.
*Crying silently inside* "I want out".
Bye.
I have no idea why I am who I am. I always feel mad,angry,frustrated,tense. And all I ever do is shut my mouth and say what people want to hear. "Im sorry","Im fine","Im ok","it's nothing". Then i'd feel like screaming. To just scream. SCREAM. Until my throat is hoarse. Until I lose my breath. Until I feel light. But I've never tried. I've tried to yell. A pitiful attempt to scream. To just let it go. To feel ok again. But it never works. And then I'll tell myself,just breathe in and breathe out. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. And those things that makes me mad,angry,frustrated and tense,they stay in me. It never goes away. It's driving me crazy. Even if someone tells me "I hope you have an accident and die." I'd answer,"Me too." Because despite my attempts to be strong and independent.. Im not. All I want to do is give up. To scream and cry until I cant anymore.
Confession : I dont know if I love him anymore. I used to put him on a pedestal. I admire him. For the things he believes in. For who he is. I never thought being me is something he doesnt approve of. Being different from what he believes in makes me the one who's always wrong. I thought he was the most wonderful thing. Rough around the edges but yet,beautiful as a person. Now.. I realize that Im never good enough. I was never on a pedestal in his eyes. He loves me. Yes. But love.. is not wonderful. It's just painful. Did I stay because he was my love at first sight? That it would have been over from that one too many fights if he wasnt? Do I love him or the idea of him? I can never forget the first time I saw him. Never.
I can never be true to myself. I've thought about people who's never honest with themselves and then change. They leave the things that makes them miserable and accepts themselves for being exactly who they are. And push away people who are dragging them down and just be happy. I always think "What if I try? What is I stop kidding myself and just be honest with myself. Do what I want and not what other people want. Just be happy. Being just me." I dont think it's that simple. I can never be honest with myself. I can never give in to the temptation to tell someone something rude or bad.
Conclusion : I am a confused fool who lets other people dictates my life and controls it. A miserable fool. Who's aching to be left the fuck alone.
*Crying silently inside* "I want out".
Bye.
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