Thursday, October 8, 2009

Changeling ?

When things change, do you change too? Or do you stay the same?

I've often seen, the people around me constantly changing. They can be this way one day, and another way the next day. And if it's so easy for them to change, am I easily changing too? We cant see the things that we do, but other people are the ones that notice it. Change is good right? I cant say that for everyone though. Some of my friends are changing into people that I cant relate to much, but the friendship remains because we have so much history with each other.

When you're in a new environment, a change from the usual surrounding that you are accustomed to, do you tend to conform into a person who's more suited to be in that certain environment? I think for me, I can be a chameleon. I can adjust myself into new surroundings, but everyone has their limits. And my limits are easy to reach. I need people to accept me for who I am, so I tend to be who I am even in front of people I dont know. In mind that the respect must be there. If I can respect them, then they should at least give me the same respect. Understanding that there is always a line that you must not cross, is important. You cant go around acting like you're the only one in this world. When you think that you matter, well -- you dont. Not really anyway. To your parents maybe, but that's just because they love you unconditionally. But to other people, how much you matter to them? Well.. Let's just say I cant answer that.

I am beginning to feel like there are certain things in my life now, that are really different. Like for an example -- I am more calm now. I am more comfortable in being who I am. I wasnt like that years ago. And it's so hard to convince myself that I am who I am, no matter what. I see things differently. I guess my thinking is still the same as always, my beliefs and all that. But I wasnt really good at dealing with my emotions and how I feel. Now, I think Im better at that. Losing something that is pretty important to me crushed me, and I could have been miserable externally. But by following my feelings too much, I could have made the people around me miserable too. And who would want to see a group pf people sulking? I think I'd rather make myself happy, so that I can see the people around me happy. It's better to see five smiles than five frowns, right? Im grateful, that I get to learn so many things and feel so many experiences. Even if, not all of it are good ones. It makes me who I am today. For the things that happened in the past, I am moving on. If you have things that you've held on to, let it go. If you really love something, then you should set it free, let it go. Then breathe.

There is no use in holding on to memories. They can be remembered, not dwelled on. Looking to make new memories is what's important, because life is too short. When you say that just by saying it is easy -- but you know what, nothing is easy. It's all up to you. Whether you want to do it, or not.

Until the next post! *wave wave*

Love, Aqi.

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