revival.

I havent been writing since before my birthday, and that was on 15th October. I've told myself a few times that I would finally sit down and write again. Well, I havent.

This is my first post after an interval.

"Sometimes you make me tick like a timebomb."

So, just breathe. It's a brand new day.

You're relieved.

I am too, finally relieved.

For every endings, comes a new beginning.

So, we can breathe. Breathe easy. Let's just take it all in, and breathe.

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Losing sight.

A guilty pleasure,

Vanilla coke.

&& I am hungry. I feel like nuggets, but I am too lazy to fry some.

----------------------------------------------------------

I found out today where I am going to be when the clock strikes 00:00am on 15th of October. I will be in a studio, in a place called Mamba with -- maybe five guys, practicing. So much for turning 21. Oh well, at least I am doing something. Rather than sitting at home. At least I get to spend it with those people. Even if they dont know it's my birthday.

And a friend is offering to lend me his guitar for Ara Fest. :) "Alaaaa, awat hang baik hati bebeno niiii!" But I think, I should at least give it a try first. I want to be prepared. Thanks ya Dollah. :D "Aku akan promotekan hang punya guitar."

No one is at home, so it's just me. Lily and Adlin asked me to come to their house, but I am dead tired. So I think I'll just see them before class tomorrow. I hope I wake up earlier than what I am used to. It's making me feel lazy, and lethargic. So no more slacking off! && trying to look forward to better practices until the big day.

&& I now have no expectations for my birthday. Oh, whatever. What am I? Nine? Then again.. *stomps feet*

Until the next post ya!

Love, Aqi.

You make my eyes bright, dear.

I havent been posting much, because I didnt feel like I had the time. Even though, I had all the time in the world to post at least 2 new ones. Let me tell you why. My time was occupied by that incredible boy, who made my heart skipped a beat on Sunday night. A very tiring and late night. Let me refresh my mind, to write it, makes it feel so very real. Because I still dont believe it happened.

I reached my home in Malacca a little too late. Since, I didnt feel like going back to nothing when I was still in JB. I helped Lynn with her guitar strings and listened to songs that she was trying to finish. We still havent made any new ones since the beginning of the year, I think. She was determined to finish at least two, so that we have at least five of our own songs. Ok, moving on.

I drove to Malacca with a heavy heart. When you're driving towards nothing in particular, where you're not even sure if there's anything to look forward to -- it felt lonely. Even pathetic, maybe. Acap kept texting, asking and nagging and making me feel very annoyed. But he was a good liar. He said, "I miss you." And I answered, "So? What are you going to do about it?"

He said it hurted him to read my text. I felt guilty for making him feel guilty. But, I didnt say anything. I kept on driving. When I passed the tol, I texted him. He thought that I have already reached my place. I laughed when he texted saying, "Ingatkan you dah sampai. You kan drive mcm maniac." Well baby, "I am not a rocket."

After getting McNuggets from McDonald's drive-thru, I continued on the lonely journey back home. When I reached UV, I carried all my bags up -- and they were super heavy! I had like two plastic bags, one stuffed duffel bag, a backpack, my guitar and last but not least, my handbag. Halfway on the lift, it felt like I'm carrying a ton. But I managed! Well I thought that was it, but then I realized I forgot my nuggets. -_-" I had to go down and get it. I might as well have divided the load, and had two lighter trips. Rather than one heavy load, and another one that consist of me carrying only one plastic bag, that doesnt even reach 1kg.

So then I was up in my room with the laptop on and me eating some nuggets. While checking Acap's fb, since he wanted me to see the new photos he uploaded. I couldnt find any. When he texted me to call him because it was urgent, I contemplated about it. He's always saying things are urgent. When I do call him, I find out that he only wanted to say hi. That's Muhammad Asraf for you. Being serious is so not him, so he says. I waited for a while before picking up the phone and speed-dialing his number. So here it is!

When I called he asked me what I was doing and stuff. So I talked to him normally, without any suspicions. Well, I should have suspected something was off -- with his constant questionings on my whereabouts. I thought he was playing around when he said that he doesnt have anywhere to go that night. I was worried since I thought he was somewhere in KL, and in trouble. And he said it so-oh innocently. Then he asked me to open the front door for him. I didnt believe him, since I dont want to be pranked. And he's always playing tricks, I didnt think that this boy, a 17++ year old boy, would even have it in him to pull this off. I opened the door, for a second and then shut it close because he was not there. I was mad at him for playing around. Then he said it again, to open the door. I did -- and there he was.

I stood there laughing. I could not believe my eyes. I thought I was dreaming, since I really wanted him to be there. To be standing in front of me. You know, I've always wished someone was in front of me. When I needed him to be there the most, but it never came true. But this -- he was actually there, smiling that smile of his. I felt like smacking him! I opened the front door gate, and he hugged me. I hugged him back -- very tightly. Like I said, I REALLY wanted him to be in front of me at the time, and he was. I dont know why, but I was so happy.. that even unexpected tears started to roll down my cheeks. I was so embarrassed I didnt feel like letting go until it dried up. He pulled away for a bit, and kissed my forehead. Boy, consider yourself growing up. Haha. I felt like I'm the little girl instead of you being the younger one.

Thank you for everything. You always say, "Mesti you sayang I gila kan right now?" and "You're so lucky to have me kan?" I know I always shrug you off. Well, I do love you. My heart is overflowing with love for you. And am I lucky? :) I hope I am. && Lets make this work, ok?

This Thursday is my birthday, and Friday will be Acap's. Our first birthday together. I dont know what will happen. I hope, good things. Even if it's not on time.

Note : There was a time when I was with you that I unconsciously smiled. It's because -- Do you remember that song I sang. Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life. The lyrics went like this, "Remember the time you drove all night. Just to meet me in the morning." That's what you did, and it's so funny how it actually happened. I couldnt help but to -- smile.

Until the next one!

Love, Aqi.

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Sailing the seas.

All my life, I've been trying to be the person that everyone wants me to be. Maybe, that's why I think I'm so screwed up.

Now, I'm trying to find myself. I still hope that with that, the people that love me now, will still love me. I have been blessed with some great things. But, my life isnt over yet. There are still unchartered oceans I havent plunged into. I hope in time, I will get to.

So with that, I think Im going to sleep. With a smile on my face, and a twinkle in my eyes.

So until the next one.

Love, Aqi.

P/S : I love you Muhammad Asraf. Im not getting tired of saying this, yet. Well I hope -- Never.

That little piece that's missing.

I hate being judged, and I dont take judgements well. As far as I am concern, I am not concerned at all of other people. My concerns are only towards me. I guess I can be called self-absorbed by some. But my values doesnt put me into that category as easy as one can say it. Ignorant.

I take failures fairly well when I have to. I dont see why I have to dwell on things that have already happened. No way of changing the outcome, so why bother trying to change the past when you can change the future. Something you have a chance on, rather than grasping for something that is not there anymore.

I am going back to Malacca in an hour or so. Or maybe more. It's already 2 hours past noon. I better go. My mood swings are swinging towards the negative part. And when I was so excited that things was so positive last night. Snap out of it, Aqi. You know better than to screw up.

Until the next one.

Love, Aqi. More or less.

Set it up!

I dont know. There must be something in the water, because I'm feeling so much better. Priorities have changed. Not for the bad I hope. I guess, Im trying to be more optimistic and positive about things. Thinking that, maybe if I am an optimist, then my outcomes are optimistic. I feel like, all of this time -- I've been drowning myself with unnecessary thoughts that plagues my mind. I've been feeding my negative thoughts until I'm so burnt out. Until I have no energy left for me to revive myself. To feel happy again.

"Im sick and tired of being sick and tired."

-Fannie Lou Hamer

So, here I am. Trying to re-organize my life. What comes first, and what I have to do to fulfill myself. Right now, there are so many things running inside my head. It's a wonder how I can even stop to write all this. I cannot believe that I am pretty excited to start things new again. I think, there were so many things that is so inconclusive in my life, it's like all this while -- I was hitting on the brakes. Putting my life on hold. Now -- I think I should have known any better that by putting it on hold, I could never truly enjoy the beautiful moments I am making today, tomorrow and the days to come. Im glad that today, my life is put into perspective. So I can see how much I am missing if I dont cherish every moment that I have.

Im supposed to sleep. Im supposed to wake up early tomorrow to run some errands and then go back to Malacca. I think Liyana and Adlin is already in Malacca. Liyana said something about Yassin recitings since their house have been problematic lately. I dont think my housemate is home. I think she's gone to some wedding in KL. That, or she's back in JB. So I'll probably be alone in the house. :( Sheesh. It'll be really lonely. *Sigh*

&&& Yes, I know baby. You're amazed by me. HAHA! Love you. Thanks for reading -- Well, at least you open it. Even if you skim my blog just to read the things I write about you. *rolling eyes*

Oh well, until the next post!

Love, Aqi.

sleep, maybe?

Just got back from Spa Manja, and feeling more and more revived than ever. That jacuzzi -- let's just say, it made my day. Im definitely going there again. Well, for something else. I feel like trying their other treatments.

The last bit was what caught my interest. They did Ear Candling. I never really thought about it much before. It wasnt that bad. I could hear the sound of burning. And they were pressing the pressure points on my face. All in all, it was a good experience. :) If I am not mistaken, I am suppose to rest now. I hope this will help me with my nocturnal behaviour these couple of days. I need to reset my biology clock for my class at 8am this coming Monday.

&&& I am missing alot of people nowadays. :(

Until the next one!

Love, Aqi.

you're my rainbow after the rain, love !

Not feeling very well. Having a hard time sleeping, very nocturnal nowadays. Not good. Since I have a morning class on Monday. And it's supposedly Basic Accounting for Lawyers. Im beaming with happiness.. NOT. Liyana called, and we talked about that. How it's so irrelevant to us that we have to take Computer Application and Basic Accounting. But I guess, it's irrelevant now. I dont know, maybe it'll help us in a few years from now. Maybe. Everything has their reasons, right? Keep that in mind, Aqi.

I made myself a cup of Chamomile tea and some instant Chicken Soup. The tea was supposed to be soothing. To help me calm my nerves and feel sleepy. Chamomile as I've read, have a few benefits. Such as,

• Insomnia and other sleep disorders
• Anxiety and Panic Attacks
• Muscle twitches
• Wounds, burns, and scrapes
• Skin conditions such as psoriasis, eczema, chickenpox, and diaper rash
• Stomach problems such as menstrual cramps, stomach flu, and ulcers

I usually make some when I am under a lot of stress or when I feel like I need something to make me relax. Just the smell of it can loosen my muscles up. It's soothing. I used to have an aromatherapy oil that is Chamomile scented. Im easily stressed. It's either Chamomile or Lavender for me. You can try drinking some. I usually add Manuka honey instead of sugar. Manuka honey also has alot of health benefits. I am too lazy to type or copy all of them because there's so many. You can read it here!

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I was lazing around in the living room watching True Blood, when Acap called. Telling me that he's finally home. He was mad that there's pizza when he's already full. I bet you ate a lot at your dad's kopitiam. :P After another phone call, he said he'd send me a goodnight text before hitting the sack. I waited for it, and not too long after that -- it came. Hooray. Oh my....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Im laughing my ass off from your stupid txt. And you even asked me if it was cute. It was so adorable, I cant stop smiling. Yes, you're frigging adorable. And I hate it that you know it. Im sorry I cant reply, but there'll be other goodnight messages from me. :) Tonight, it's just you. If you're reading this -- which I doubt that you are, since you dont really like reading -- then, goodnight love.

&&& I'd so hate you if you're going to Ahmad Dhani's open house with Popo. *sulk*

Until the next one!

Lovelovelovelove, Aqi.

Gossip Girl is turning me into someone who is more insomniac!

The Goodbye Gossip Girl Episode ; Season 2 Episode 25.

:O

I CANNOT STOP WATCHING IT. The ending is super sweet. I love Chuck. :D

&& the clothes for season 2 --they look oh so amazing!-- was superb. If you're not using them anymore, send them to my wardrobe will you? :) I hope that season 3 will bring more interesting plots and fashion.

Until the next one!

Love, Aqi.

tired tired tired !

People are simply not trustworthy. People CANNOT be trusted. Ok, I better add that SOME people are not to be trusted. Im pissed off. If I am a lawyer now, I'd find something to sue your ass off.

Moving on, I was out with Mama to George & Dragon for their best Sirloin Blackpepper Steak, with US Russet Baked Potato. Delicious, simply delicious. With Chuck Berry singing Johnny B. Goode in the background. What more can I ask for? We talked about some things that are happening, and some of the things I just found out about -- isnt exactly something that was easy on the ears. But, I know for a fact that papa is a superdad, -- if not a Google when he's at home, since he's the only one who can find things in this house -- he can manage through. I hope I can be more of assistance.

It's another few days until I'm off to Malacca. The hols are finishing, and it was a quick one. I dont think I did much. Just that I laze around and stayed in since I'm not feeling that well. Headaches are a bitch. Remind me to go and get my Malaysian Studies and Islamic Studies certificate from UCSI, so that I can do a credit transfer. I'd hate to take those subjects again. Tomorrow is the appointment with Spa Manja. I cannot wait for the Signature Detox Massage. Im taking the Celebrity Treatment. It consist of : Aroma Eye Treatment, Steam, Jacuzzi, -- this is what I'm talking about! -- Foot Soak, Boreh Scrub, the massage, and last but not least the Ear candling.

I think there's another one in the heart of KL. I remember wanting to book Mama a spa in KL, on Mother's Day. But couldnt because she was too busy and cant come to KL. Oh well, at least tomorrow we can enjoy a mother and daughter spa together. Weehoo!

Here's the info if you ever want to try it out,

This is the one in JB :

Spa Manja
162 Jalan Dato Sulaiman,
Century Garden,
80250 Johor Bahru, Malaysia.
To contact : 017 777 3393 / 07 3333 111
spa@spamanja.com
Operating Hours : 11am - 11pm
Call for appointment.
Gentleman and Ladies are welcomed.

Here is the website for further information, www.spamanja.com .

I need to relieve my tired muscles and relax.

Until the next post!

Love, Aqi.

.Another Chapter And Page.

I love how you're always trying to get my attention ; I love your lame jokes ; I love how you love making me laugh ; I love how you always look at me with that look of yours ; I love how your hand fits in mine ; I love how your smile sends shivers down my spine ; I love how your laughs lift my mood ; I love how you answer me when I call for you ; I love how you glance back and answered knowingly I didnt really have anything to say, but you said "yes?" anyway ; I love how you're not annoyed that I am trying my best to annoy you ; I love it when you love the things that I do for you, without me realizing im doing anything at all ; I love your bear-hugs! ; I love how you're trying to grow up for me, but failing miserably ; there are a million other things that I could write, and it would take days. So this is it --- for now. :)

I first saw you in the hall, with our different coloured painted faces. You were in the Red team, and I was in the Blue team. When we did our cheer you got up -- the only person in your team that stood up --, looked over and said, "Whateverrr." Seriously I could have smacked your head at that time. I called you The Whatever Guy, and I disliked you from then on. I looked at you as a spoilt kid, you looked like one anyway. I dismissed you, and moved on with my life. We even went to the same after-orientation-night thingy, but we didnt even realized each other. I left early. Then when classes started, I only had friends that are not in the same course as me. One invited me to lunch, and I accepted. Supposedly I was suppose to meet her earlier that day, but I was too busy. I was sleeping and I was grouchy, but I went anyway because I had a class to go to after the meet. And there, I met you again. How convenient.. You were sitting right across from me. I wasnt in the mood, so I reluctantly answered your questions. You asked for my number, I asked what it was for -- and you answered, "So if there's anything, it's easier to contact." So that was it. You texted me that night, but I ignored you. Then we met up for movies and some sight-seeing that night. I was the odd one out. So I kept mostly to myself. You sent me back home I think. It was very sweet of you. It's a gesture I'd have to say, no one has ever shown to me before.

It was your first time riding the bus back to KL. You were with our friends and you werent too happy about it. When you boarded the bus, it happened so quick that there wasnt much time to say goodbye. You sent a text that was not supposed to be read by me, you were telling our friend that if she brought me to see some other guys then she'll be in trouble. *laughs*

Since then, things have changed alot. Progressed, as some might say. There were some ups and downs. You told me you loved me, and asked me to say it back. But I wouldnt, and you said you'd wait. Something tragic happened, you had to go back to KJ. We were in the car, in front of Ixora. You were sad. I told you to take care of yourself, and you told me to do the same thing. Before you opened the car-door and walked away, you kissed my cheek. It was so sudden. I didnt react. I just sat there. I looked at you, but you're already walking away. So,I drove back home.

The first time I said I loved you -- was something that I didnt plan. It was supposed to be well-planned. Even if I was falling for you, I didnt want to immediately say it. I wanted to wait. But it happened anyway. Still, it is a beautiful memory. You drove back to Ixora, and I was eating ice cream. We changed seats and you were waiting for me to finish my ice cream before going out of the car. I said it was OK, as I was finishing it anyway. You said, "Bye, I love you " and opened the passenger's seat door. Without realizing it, I answered "Bye, love you." I didnt even realized it until you shut the door closed and stared at me in disbelief. I hid my face as I rested my head on the steering wheel, I couldnt even look at you. I did not believe I just said it. So un-romantic of me! You opened the door again and said it again, I think hoping that I would answer you again. But I didnt, and so you walked away. I received a text from you that says, "You what??" I said nothing. And that was that.

I still remember this particular day like it was yesterday. I had dance practice, and you were suppose to come. You texted saying that you were tired from the soccer game, so you're not coming. I was disappointed, but I understood. Adlin and Liyana wanted to borrow the car, so I passed them the carkeys. After the practice finished, I tried contacting you, but you werent answering my calls and you werent replying my texts. I got annoyed, since we always go to dinner after my practices. And everyone seems to have plans, so I was alone. I walked out of the Block B building to find my car, since Adlin texted me saying that they're already waiting. I was still waiting for you to answer my call when I spotted the familiar Blue Kelisa parked nearby. I expected for the girls to come out, but there you were standing with a pink shirt. A rose in hand and a big smile plastered on your face. I was in your grey hoodie and a cap and definitely messy. I hated you for picking that moment to be all romantic. HAHA. Couldnt you pick some other time when I look more decent? Ok, moving on.

I shouted something while walking towards you, but halted when I saw the rose and when it sunk in that you were going to propose. I laughed and told you I wasnt going to come any closer. You waited patiently until I did. I was standing in front of you when you handed me a little card that says Love Bug in front of it, with a picture of a ladybug. Inside you wrote "Fatin Aqilah, will you be my girlfriend?" The only reaction I could give to you at those times was laughing. Sorry, I laugh when I cannot think of what other thing to do. I said, "No," and pretended to walk away. You made a face, and I stayed. You asked me again, and I told you, "Of course." You went down on one knee and handed me the rose. You opened the passenger door and we drove back home. I got ready as you waited and we went for a late dinner since practice always ends around 10pm. You brought me to D'Pelican, you asked me if I know why. But I didnt. You said it was because there was a time when we went there before a movie and you were upset because I told a friend that I wasnt that interested in you. You said you really liked me at the time but I didnt feel the same way, so since then you promised yourself that you'd try your best to win my heart. And when you finally did, to pay tribute to that day, you brought me there for our first dinner together as a couple. You paid for dinner, even when I insisted on going Dutch. :) Then we were off to McD for ice creams. That was like our late night ritual, we'd hang out at McD. Just us. It was like our secret place. Haha!

Muhammad Asraf, I love you. I will learn to love you more and more for the days to come. It's a long journey, so walk with me.



So, until the next post.

Love, Aqi.

.life is a mystery even to itself.

Im reading old posts that I have in my other blog. It's so weird to be reading something that I wrote such a long time ago. To remember, sometimes it doesnt feel like the author was me. There was so many things that was going on in my life at the time, it made me see that I was so young. So determine to see things cynically. Or childishly.

It's like a breath of fresh air.

It reminded me of how I loved to write but was not allowed to express fully how I feel, afraid that it would make 'someone' mad. Why do you put yourself out there, for the world to see? It's not a matter of wanting the world to see -- it's a mere effort to express my emotions and thoughts healthily. In a way where I'd love doing it. By writing.

We can be whoever we want to be in our writings. But it's not the reality. I hope I can still remember that. Our life, takes us wherever we want to go. Given that we put in a little effort. And more if we need to.

Reading about my past, it got me thinking. Be thankful that you're alive. For 21 years! You are alive and healthy. And for years to come, I really do hope so.

Until the next post.

Love, Aqi.

.where it matters.

If it matters, make it known that it matters.

Ok, staying home without the car -- and absolutely no money -- is not so bad. I sleep all day. I wake up and online and then catch up on some TV time. Then to the bathroom, before putting on an oversize shirt -- this is so comfortable ok -- and shorts. Then dinner and just lazing around. HAH!

The best holiday, though it feels really short. Maybe because IT IS short. Oh,well. I dont mind starting the new semester. I kinda miss it. This semester will include : Basic Accounting for Lawyers, General Principles Of Law II, Introduction To Law and Critical Thinking. The one I'm actually not looking forward to is the Basic Accounting. That's why I went into Science Stream in the first place. But, what the hell, I dont mind giving it a try. :)

I hope I did well on my finals. I hate repeating. :/ Pray for me! && I cannot wait for my baby blue Kelisa to be discharged from the hospital! Sorry baby, for denting you.

&& I miss you Muhammad Asraf. :( Good luck for tmrw's exam. I know it's Math, but I believe in you! GO GO ACAP! :D

Until the next post!

Love, Aqi.

Changeling ?

When things change, do you change too? Or do you stay the same?

I've often seen, the people around me constantly changing. They can be this way one day, and another way the next day. And if it's so easy for them to change, am I easily changing too? We cant see the things that we do, but other people are the ones that notice it. Change is good right? I cant say that for everyone though. Some of my friends are changing into people that I cant relate to much, but the friendship remains because we have so much history with each other.

When you're in a new environment, a change from the usual surrounding that you are accustomed to, do you tend to conform into a person who's more suited to be in that certain environment? I think for me, I can be a chameleon. I can adjust myself into new surroundings, but everyone has their limits. And my limits are easy to reach. I need people to accept me for who I am, so I tend to be who I am even in front of people I dont know. In mind that the respect must be there. If I can respect them, then they should at least give me the same respect. Understanding that there is always a line that you must not cross, is important. You cant go around acting like you're the only one in this world. When you think that you matter, well -- you dont. Not really anyway. To your parents maybe, but that's just because they love you unconditionally. But to other people, how much you matter to them? Well.. Let's just say I cant answer that.

I am beginning to feel like there are certain things in my life now, that are really different. Like for an example -- I am more calm now. I am more comfortable in being who I am. I wasnt like that years ago. And it's so hard to convince myself that I am who I am, no matter what. I see things differently. I guess my thinking is still the same as always, my beliefs and all that. But I wasnt really good at dealing with my emotions and how I feel. Now, I think Im better at that. Losing something that is pretty important to me crushed me, and I could have been miserable externally. But by following my feelings too much, I could have made the people around me miserable too. And who would want to see a group pf people sulking? I think I'd rather make myself happy, so that I can see the people around me happy. It's better to see five smiles than five frowns, right? Im grateful, that I get to learn so many things and feel so many experiences. Even if, not all of it are good ones. It makes me who I am today. For the things that happened in the past, I am moving on. If you have things that you've held on to, let it go. If you really love something, then you should set it free, let it go. Then breathe.

There is no use in holding on to memories. They can be remembered, not dwelled on. Looking to make new memories is what's important, because life is too short. When you say that just by saying it is easy -- but you know what, nothing is easy. It's all up to you. Whether you want to do it, or not.

Until the next post! *wave wave*

Love, Aqi.

head throbbing ; blegh

It's funny how when it was such a hype that everyone was so worried to get sick during the H1N1 brief phase. That now when it's finally quieted down, I get sick. I wasnt even sick, even for a bit these past few months. And now here I am in my room with eyes burning and nose running and throat itching and voice sounding more and more like there's a wad of tissue stuffed into my nose.

"Org kata ni maybe penyakit rindu ni. Alaa,berjauhan sikit nak sakit mengada la pulak kan!" HAHA!

Mama said the death rates are going down gor H1N1, but now Dengue is on the rise. So people, watch out for unwanted mosquitoes. Not that there are any wanted ones. Nyehehe. But seriously, take care of your homes and if you have a fever, check it ASAP. Or if you know anyone with symptoms of Dengue fever. You know, it can be fatal. Better be careful than regretting it later.

I ate a pill for my flu, and it was suppose to make me sleepy. But it didnt. And so I stayed awake. I walked towards my room after a few hours of watching pointless TV, my head was throbbing like it was going to explode. My heart was beating so hard I could feel it thumping. I went out to the living room again and looked for the blood pressure monitor. I checked and my blood pressure was 64 and my pulse was 92. Even after I relaxed. *Sigh*

And right now, Im still not sleeping. It's already morning. Im watching Gossip Girl on Graboid. I still have some remaining bandwidths. Im too lazy to download all the eps. I'll download the ones I dont get to watch after I used up all the free bandwidths. :) && Im txting Acap who's probably trying to study at Apek's. Dont really know if he's succeeding. Oh anyhow, GOOD LUCK you people who's taking Comp Apps for Dips Studs. Cececece! "Menyampah aku ! Nak shortform mengada pulakkk!"

OK so in regards of the warning that has been issued by me earlier in this post. Here are some info about Dengue, im posting just a bit. You go ahead and google it if you want. :) -- Mama would be so proud :D --

The signs and symptoms of Dengue fever are as follows:

- High fever (104 F, 40°C)
- Chills
- Headache
- Red eyes, pain in the eyes
- Enlarged lymph nodes
- Deep muscle and joint pains (during first hours of illness)
- Loss of appetite
- Nausea and vomiting
- Low blood pressure and heart rate
- Extreme fatigue

Basically, dengue commences with high fever and other signs as listed above for 2 to 4 days. Then, the temperature drops rapidly and intense sweating takes place. After about a day with normal temperature and a feeling of well-being, the temperature rises abruptly again. Rashes (small red bumps) show up on the arms, legs and the entire body simultaneously along with fever. However, rashes rarely occur on the face. The palms of the hands and soles of the feet may be swollen and bright red. Although the patient may feel exhausted for several weeks, most cases of dengue take approximately one week to recover. Once a person recovers from dengue, he or she will have antibodies in their bloodstream which will prevent them from having a relapse for about a year.

Prevention and Control

At present, the only method of preventing and controlling dengue fever is to eradicate the mosquito population. They are a number of ways to combat the vector mosquitoes:

- Improved water storage practices. Cover all containers to prevent egg laying female mosquitoes access to it.

- Implement proper solid waste disposal.

- Eliminate any sources that may collect water such as tins, bottles, plastic food containers and old tires. Mosquitoes breed easily in any source of standing water.

- Appropriate insecticides, such as larvicide's can be added to water containers and man-made ponds. The insecticides can prevent mosquitoes breeding for several weeks. However, they must be re-applied as per directions.

- Always clean and check drains to ensure they are not blocked especially during the rainy season.

- Breed small mosquito-eating fishes in an artificial pond to eradicate the mosquito larvae.

In addition to the above, there are a number of factors to help prevent the mosquito being attracted to human prey.

- Avoid wearing dark and tight clothing because mosquitoes are attracted to dark colours. Wear loose, white and long clothes, which cover the whole body. Mosquitoes find it difficult to bite through loose clothes than tight fitting clothes.

- Environmental conditions. It is suggested to sleep under mosquito netting or in a room which has mosquito screens on the windows. Mosquitoes are unlikely to bite in an air-conditioned room and under strong fans. Mosquito coils are also useful to help prevent mosquitoes from entering the room.

- Apply mosquito repellants.

- Avoid reduce outdoor activities during morning and late afternoon because Aedes mosquitoes are daytime feeders.

Be safe and take care.

So until the next time you peeps!

Love, Aqi.

This October ; Ara Fest !

If you can come, then come to this. The details are as stated. I got this from another blogger. The admission fee is as follows :

- Rm 20 for 1 day
- Rm 35 for 2 days

As I am told,there will be a lot of amazing bands performing. One that I am looking forward to check out is Khottal. && I believe that Search is also performing.

Some of the bands that are performing are such as,

Khottal
Pure Vibracion
Republic Of Brickfield
Second Combat
Oh Chentaku
TWKUA
Komplot

Other than live performances there will also be other activities that sounds fun, since it's a collaboration with a bike rally. :) So come on down and just enjoy the festivities.

An update for the flyer !!



&&& dont forget to pay some extra attention to We Let Them Win :D

Until the next time I feel like posting!

Love, Aqi.

If you break it, you better run.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

- Albert Einstein

When I say that things have their own reasons, I think that it is closely related to that quote. When we're facing a certain problem, that we think is really big at the time. I'm pretty sure that it wont seem that way anymore after time passes by and as we look back at it. Sometimes, we can even laugh about it. I think that, that is the most overused quote I use. In everything that I do in my life, I always try to remember that there are things in my life that are suppose to happen as it did, with me liking it or not. If it doesn't turn out as it's suppose to, then in the near future, something will replace it's place to correct it. Or I can also call it karma. When something happens, I'll try to calm myself and in my head I keep telling myself that there's a reason as to why it happened.

I think one example is the fact that I am a 21-year-old, taking foundation in Law. I mean, I could have taken it earlier. But I took A Levels after finishing school and I wasn't really sure what I wanted and what's really best for me. I was supposed to take medic, but I don't know why, as much as I love it, my heart was just not into it. I guess those years I spent learning something so different than what I'm taking now has it's own reasons. As I look back now, I think I have some idea on what will happen if I've taken Law in MMU years ago. I don't think it would really be a good idea. And those reasons, I guess it's better for me to know and you not to get so interested in knowing. I'm sure we all have things that are better left unsaid, right?

It's pretty embarrassing at first that I'm the oldest -- I guess -- in my batch. But I was upfront with the people I made friends with at orientation. And some are still my friends, because we're in the same circle of friends. And the most amazing thing happened, someone so wonderful found me and made me see that love isn't really something that is predictable. Or that love have to fit into this context where you have to conform yourself so that it would seem normal. And I think nowadays being in love with someone younger than you is not that weird. Ok, for me, the person who've always given things the benefit of a doubt, I was pretty reluctant at first. The fact that I've just got out of a disastrous relationship doesn't help things at the time either. Thank you, for making me see that age REALLY does not matter. :) It was pretty hard to convince me that, it's something that I'm not suppose to push aside just because it doesn't seem to fit into what you call a normal relationship. && anyway, I think it's pretty hot. HAHA!

I think, Im growing up pretty well. I know I am not perfect. Im trying to be the best that I can -- for now, at least! There are so many things in this world that I want to soak up, and knowledge is something that you can ever get enough of. If I could, I'd want to touch,see,sense,smell and hear everything before my time runs out. Im the kind of person that tends to complicate even then simplest things. I hope if I can remember that everything has it's solutions, I can make it through another 20 years ahead. :)

&& my birthday is coming up! It's on the 15th of October. It's my 21st, so Im hoping to do something special. But I have no idea what. I hope I can figure something out before the big day. :) And people, dont forget the presents. :D Hehe.

&& another cool things is, my beloved Muhammad Asraf's birthday is on the 16th of October. And he's turning 18. Awh,he's becoming legal. I know he's excited about it. I have no idea on what to get him or what to do on his birthday. The fact that he may not be here to celebrate it with me is something that I'm not looking forward to. He's maybe going to Sarawak, -- :( -- so he says.


Oh well, I'll write more later. I dont know what I just babbled. Im listening to Paramore's new music, so Im not really paying attention to what I was writing. Sorry for grammar errors or typos. I'll tell you what I think about the album if I remember. :P



Until the next post !

Love, Aqi.

Chapter 1 : Let it begin shall we?

It's the 7th of October. It's been months since I've posted something. And this has become my overused phrase for me to say in my blog. Since im a very lazy person, I dont update much. I dont see any point in onlining that much either. I think I miss this. I'll try to write more. Today, im just going to write a post to say that -- IM BACK. :D

There's alot to write about, but I think I'll take my time. It's also the starting of a new semester. I think this is as good as any time to start a new chapter. :)

And for those that have been waiting patiently for new posts, thanks. To some, this is the only thing that's keeping you updated about me. So I'll update more. And to those that doesnt really care, dont bother reading if you're just trying to find things to talk crap about me. It's so 'mature' of you.

So -- until the next one!

Bye Bye.

after a very long interval.

I miss this. Freshly typed words. Overflowing ideas. The moods im in when my fingers search for the letters of the words to the sentences that had formed in my head and are ready and anxious to be typed and written.

My return does not bring wisdom, nor excitement. I just feel like writing for an outlet for these rush of emotions that I cannot hold in.

I dont really know what to write. Should it be detailed? About what made me feel how I am feeling right now.

Or should I just write anything that comes to mind? A poem maybe? I dont know. Right now.. My thoughts are a whirlpool of emotions. And I cant seem to break free. The songs that I'm listening to arent helping either.

I guess. I cant really say it here huh. Maybe I'll write something later. Right now,this is all I've got.

i remember.

Yes,I know. It's not exactly like the original. I heard this a few times. And didnt bother to actually listen to it more,so this is all I get. I play it like how I remember how it sounded. :P The one with me is Nadea,and the one who's recording is Fida. And yes,there were mistakes,but it wasnt that much. What do you expect,she learned it in a matter of minutes. So excuse us. :D But nevertheless,I LOVE THIS VIDEO. AND I MISS YOU GUYS!

So babies,next month we'll hang more ok! And we'll sing our hearts out again. Until then,watch this and remember me in your hearts. <3 HAHA

get on with it.

I want to stand in an open field. Hands stretched out. Face turned upwards. Wind blowing my hair. Basking in the ray of sunshine. Eyes closed. And I feel... Content. Blissful. Where the only sound I can hear are my slow breaths. The only thoughts I have are "I want to stay.. like this. Just like this".

When I open my eyes. It's like everything crumbles down.. Dark clouds loom over me. Wind howling in my ears. And rain starts to pour. The only thoughts i have are "How did I get here?"

Even when I'm trying to look straight ahead and move forward.. I always feel like I have to look back with each step I take. When can all this stop.. So that I can just run ahead. No more looking back. I need to do it. Or else I think I might just die inside.

PCD song makes me sing out loud.

I hate this part right here.

I hate this part right here.

I just cant take these tears.

I hate this part right here.


I cant find words to say. Words to say to make things better. I feel like nothing I say will make it better. I wish there were words to make you understand. If there are words that will make you understand,I cant find them.

I find myself repeating what I say,several times. OCD? Or im just making sure things are getting across. Which it never does.

Goodnight. Wish me luck!

And yes. I seem to be rambling. I cant explain much about this post. My head feels foggy. I nnneeeeeeedddd SLEEP!

Sleep deprived makes me mad.